Sex toys have gradually emerged from the taboo zone: now it’s just one of the easiest and most understandable ways to diversify sex life and get to know your own body better. And yet in this subject there is still a lot of unsaid. We tried to figure out why in the world where the Hitachi Magic Wand had become a familiar device since the time of “Sex and the City”, the most famous male masturbator Fleshlight is still treated with at least fear or contempt. There are also best sex toys for couples.
It is foolish to deny that female and male sexuality is still perceived differently. They ignored the first one for a long time: until the 1990s, scientists could not even imagine how the clitoris was arranged. Men have historically felt freer in sex, but ideas about their sexuality are also surrounded by stereotypes. It is believed that men are arranged very simply: they are always ready for sex and, unlike women, who need complex manipulations to orgasm; they should have a couple of simple movements. “Unfortunately, male sexuality is traditionally understood as primitive, the purpose of which is solely to get an orgasm. Often it is implied that the erogenous zone of a man is the same – the penis, and any variety – from the evil one. This cannot but impose restrictions on the process of men’s researching their own sexuality,”explains psychologist.
Male masturbation is spoken about more openly – in American, for example, there is practically no neutral word describing female masturbation, but jokes with the verb “masturbate” sound with enviable regularity. It is believed that all men masturbate, but those who confess that they do this are considered “strange” or “losers”: a “real” man can get any partner; therefore masturbation is supposedly a defeat. In addition, the image of a masturbating woman is much more sexualized: this story, for example, is often found in porn.
Pop culture maintains a wary attitude towards male masturbation – think of the strange and awkward heroes of “American Pie” or “Lars and a real girl.” “In itself, an act of masturbation is, at best, understood as something forced, replacing“real”sex in the absence of a partner, at worst – as a bad habit that testifies to a man’s sexual insolvency. With such a disrespectful attitude towards the process that gives you pleasure, the possibility of upgrading it in the form of buying a masturbating toy seems to be a luxury.
All this is reflected in the attitude to sex toys: if the gadgets for women are increasingly being spoken of as a way to know yourself and your body, then toys for men are first and foremost a replacement for a partner, and nothing more. History is a prime example.
Fleshlight, one of the world’s most famous sex gadgets for men
Its inventor Steve Shubin jokingly told his wife that he needed something for a while until the couple could have sex (both were about forty when the woman became pregnant, and the doctors advised them to refrain to reduce the risk of miscarriage) – so the masturbator appeared. Fleshlight helps a man to fulfill his “biological needs” without prejudice to women: They do not exist to satisfy our sexual needs; responsible men decide this question themselves. I know that if I do not control my sexuality, I will become angry at my wife, because she is not as sexually active as I would like. I had to grow up and learn to cope on my own. She is not an escort or sex device.
Many sex toys are still being positioned as a way to replace a partner, no matter how similar they are to a living person from realistic full-height dolls to individual body parts with names like Fuck My Face Blonde or Jenna’s Perfect Pair.
Producing sex toys
Prostate massagers are one of the most frequently purchased gadgets by men, along with masturbators and women’s toys: enjoyment. Moreover, it is very simple to distinguish one from the other: those who are prescribed prostate massage try to take something of smaller dimensions, while others choose toys of maximum sizes. Among men, inflatable butt plug is very popular with us, for example. Particularly those themed ones like the Halloween-themed butt plugs out there.
At the same time, heterosexual men are often embarrassed by the fact that they like anal gadgets – this allegedly may mean that they are homosexual, despite the fact that pegging is a common heterosexual practice. The unpopularity of penetrating toys can probably be explained by the fact that for many heterosexual men, any sexual practices related to the anus and prostate are taboo. Recognition of this facet of one’s sexuality can cause a partner’s misunderstanding and a battery of homophobic jokes among his buddies.
Firstly, the stereotype that men do not need much, there is no sense to include fantasy – it is enough just to provide stimulation. As a result, the appearance of toys is boring, and conceptually they are mostly banal. In her opinion, men do not have the habit of discussing their own feelings and experiences, so it’s difficult for them to perceive devices as a way to gain new experience, which is why the market itself does not develop.There are dozens of women bloggers telling about devices for adults, the revealed pros and cons, and personal experience of using them, but not men, and the overwhelming part of the materials about toys are editorial with stories about the functionality of devices, and not about give the case. Women are more diverse and the basic set for their stimulation will be more complicated than the male one; In addition, it is customary to put experiments in pairs on women: Their discomfort is less taken into account, and if a man wants diversity, he would rather buy a butt plug with rhinestones for a girlfriend or wife, rather than the best kegel balls for adults. So the main buyer of sex toys is still a man, but he buys mostly women.